Anal Playtime

Many people have heard that a good ass fuck may feel great but may not be safe for your bum. Anal sex is quite safe, so long as you take a few precautions. You want to be careful not to damage the sphincter muscle– that’s the muscle that is in charge of bowel control. So, use a lot of good lube because your ass won’t be wetting itself, and start slowly. If it hurts, you should slow down a bit. Anal should feel good– any pain is a sign to back up and slow down. Let your good feelings guide you.

Anal fissures are small tears that can happen inside your rectum. Due to the rectum’s toxic nature, it can be difficult for anal fissures to heal. As with the sphincter muscle, there should be no pain. If your anal fucking gets too rough and begins to hurt, that is a sign that you are in danger of getting anal fissures. Slow things down a bit, keep it at a pain-free level, and you should be fine.

One concern that doctors have regarding anal sex is that many people do not use protection against sexually transmitted diseases during anal sex. STDs can be spread through anal sex, so it is important to protect yourself and your partner with dental dams, and finger and cock condoms during anal play.

Remember to use protection and keep things pain free, and you’ll find that many of the rumors about anal sex are untrue, and that anal play is a great way to expand your sexual horizons.

Q: Help! I want my lover to give me some anal pleasure, but he’s uptight about going there. What do I do?

A: Well, lovey, you’ve got to make your ass pretty. Start with a good shower– take him with you, of course. Once he’s had some hot, wet, showery foreplay, he’s apt to want to find more creative ways to stay hot and wet long after the water has gone frigid. A nice bottle of red wine should help relax him and make him a bit more pliable to your bidding.

Once you’re nice and clean and your minky and ass are smelling sweeter than roses, suggest that he use a finger condom and play with your ass. The use of a finger condom will not only keep you both safe from diseases, but should also help him to feel clean about the messy bits. Once you’ve convinced your boy toy that it’s not so bad, cover your ass with a dental dam and make him lick it. Get flavored ones, and let him choose his favorite flavor– that way your uptight boy won’t have to worry about getting a tongue-full of yuck and you get it your way. If what you really crave from him is to have his big, rock hard cock slamming your ass, let him use a condom. If you aren’t prepared to take that dick in your ass just yet, use one of your anal sex toys, but a condom on it. If you are prepared to assuage his fears and keep the mess to a minimum to appease him, he’ll probably come around and love it. In the end, all the condoms and dental dams go straight to the waste basket. You’ll have gotten just what you want, and will have eased his mind about getting dirty.

So I’m on the phone with one of my best mates, and she starts telling me all about how her guy just goes absolutely wild when she fucks him with this huge anal strap-on. I’ve always known that she’s a bit of a dominatrix, but I find that instead of being appalled, I’m totally intrigued. Thing is– that man is too damn gangly. I just can’t even imagine how atrocious he must look taking it in the ass from her. But she’s lovely– I can totally see her standing over him, velvet harness around her tiny ass and hips. Red hair glinting in the candlelight, green eyes shining as she takes full control. Small, exquisite tits jumping perfectly while she thrusts, and thrusts, and thrusts. . .

“Ellie, are you even listening to me?”

Bugger, no, I wasn’t. I must confess I was too busy imagining what it would be like to submit to her. Maybe I can teach her a few things while we’re at it . . .

“Oh, sorry, I got distracted. Hey, would you like to cum over tonight?”

So, I admit that I’m a bit anal-retentive, a little OCD about things. I’m hyper-organized; there is a place for everything and everything should be in its place. I’m a clean freak; I hate my wall-to-wall carpeting and vacuum it every single day. My best girlfriends all think I’m prude. My husband and I have never had a menage-a-trois end well. Shit, I didn’t get my first dildo until after I was married. It was bright green and hard plastic. The most uncomfortable piece of crap. It wasn’t until a friend turned me onto the Rampant Rabbit that sex started to be fun.

For our anniversary, my husband bought me a waterproof vibrator, because I love to masturbate in the bath. Turns out, I love taking that little vibe in the ass better. When he’s fucking my ass with that, while I use my rabbit on my vag and clit, I can cum again and again. When I tire of that, I climb on top of him and fuck him until we’re both spent. Turns out, I’m turned on by anal sex toys.

I guess maybe it’s ok to be anal retentive?

Anal sex is a rewarding part of many gay relationships. Even so, some men shy away from anal sex for a variety of reasons. Some men worry that it is ‘dirty’ or worry because there is an increased chance of catching sexually transmitted diseases, others worry simply that it will hurt. But there is a lot you can do to quiet these fears.

The single easiest thing to do if you are interested in anal sex and to experiment with gay sex toys. These can help you explore your own body, learn what you like and don’t like, and learn what your body is comfortable with. Along with your gay sex toys you should be using plenty of lubrication. The ample use of lubrication during anal sex can also reduce your risk of disease as it will reduce friction on the condom, and make it less likely that the condom will tear.

Proper hygiene is a must for you and your partner. Not only does it make the experience more pleasurable for everyone but it also reduces the likelihood of minor infections and disease that can be spread by anal sex.

Fisting is not something you jump into on a whim. The vast majority of people will need to experiment and become experienced with anal toys long before they are able to be fisted. Luckily that’s part of the fun!

If you want to be fisted start off slow and use a lot of lube. Anal toys also need plenty of lube to be used comfortably. A big no no lots of people make before first being fisted or using anal toys is to use an enema before hand. This can actually be irritating to the anus, which can thin or damage anal walls and make you more likely to get an infection.

Once you have spent some time experimenting with a variety of different sized anal toys so you know what your body is capable of and feels comfortable with you are ready to be fisted. Have your partner start off slow and insert fingers one by one. Once all fingers are inside they can slowly be curved into a fist. At this point communication is key, make sure to let your partner know how much is too much and what you like or don’t like.

A lot has been said and written about the female G-spot, but there’s not as much information out there about the so-called male G-spot, a.k.a the prostate. The prostate is about the size of a chestnut and, using your fingers, anal toys, or a friend, you can create some intense feelings by stimulating it.

If you want to explore the male g-spot it’s much easier to find once the guy has been aroused for awhile because it enlarges when a guy is turned on. It usually feels like a bump about two inches inside the anus. You can stimulate the prostate with a well lubed finger but most men find that anal sex toys are best for finding and stimulating their g-spot.

Anal sex toys that have a curve to them are usually best for hitting the g-spot. A butt plug will give a more subtle but constant pressure to the male g-spot that will drive a lot of guys wild. Like with all anal play lubrication is a must to keep things comfortable.

I love anal sex toys but I definitely have concerns about keeping them clean. I’ve found that anal toys made from silicone are key to keeping things clean and nice down there. Not only is it easy to wipe down and disinfect but it also feels really soft to touch.

The one downside to silicone anal toys is that you shouldn’t use silicone based lube with them . . . and of course a good lube is key to really enjoying your anal toys! There’s no natural lubrication to be found anally so you definitely need something out of a bottle you like.

The old joke for anal toys is that “too much lube is almost enough”. I really like silicone lube but it can ruin anal toys made from silicone or cyberskin. The best part of lube shopping, I think, is trying them out to see how they work. Oil based lubes have limitations, same as silicone lubes; they can’t be used with latex condoms and toys. This basically leaves water based lubes which are great for sensitive skin and won’t ruin your anal toys! The only complaint I have about water based lubes is that they can dry up so you either have to keep applying more or you need to keep a spray bottle of water handy.

Many people are afraid to try anal sex because of the urban legend surrounding it. Old sodomy laws in the United States defined sodomy as a sexual act of anal penetration, as well as bestiality, and oral sex. In reality, anti-sodomy laws have traditionally not been much enforced, as Constitutional privacy rights have overshadowed them. Kentucky was a forerunner of striking down anti-sodomy laws, when a 1992 case, Kentucky v. Wasson, caused the Kentucky state Supreme Court to overturn anti-sodomy laws because the Kentucky state Constitution grants privacy rights for all people.

A 2003 United States Supreme Court ruling on Lawrence v. Texas overruled anti-sodomy laws in fifty states including Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia. Current sodomy laws now mostly fall under privacy laws regarding sex and safety. The standards apply– all participants must be of legal age, and must participate willingly without influence. As far as the law is concerned, sodomy is (mostly) safe.

Statistically, more heterosexual couples – and more women– have engaged or regularly engage in anal sex. This is not a new trend. Dating way back into history, some cultures believe that anal sex keeps the woman’s virginity intact. Put simply, people know that anal sex feels good. For men, anal sex allows the prostate to be gently massaged (consider using an anal sex toy like the Aneros MGX Male G-Spot Stimulator to really rub his G-Spot the right way). Many men feel a more full orgasmic release when they cum from prostate stimulation. Many women enjoy the tighter, fuller feeling of anal penetration. So release the myths, and find your anal pleasure.

Most sex positions used for vaginal penetration can also be used for anal sex. Lesbian anal sex toys, like strap-ons, can also be used in these positions for anal sex. For our purposes, we will refer to the passive partner as the person being penetrated, and the active partner as the person doing the penetrating. This allows for any gender combination you prefer.

Most people are familiar with the Missionary position. The missionary position is achieved by having the passive partner lie flat with the active partner lying on top. This is a great position for anal sex, as it allows for anal penetration with either the cock or anal sex toys, while leaving the vagina also open for play. The Reverse Missionary position puts the passive partner on top while the active partner lies flat.

The Doggy Style position allows for some variance. The passive partner gets on their hands and knees while the active partner positions themselves behind. Putting the passive partner’s head down, thus thrusting up the ass, allows for deeper penetration.

In the Butterfly position, the passive partner lies on their back with her legs dangling over the edge of a bed or table and the active partner stands. The passive partner puts their legs up in whatever way they are capable of maneuvering. This opens up the ass, making anal sex easier and often more comfortable.

The T-Square position can take a lot of physical positioning strain off both partners. The passive partner lies on their back and the active partner positions themselves perpendicularly to passive person’s ass. The passive partner then puts their legs over the active partner’s body, allowing the active partner easy access for anal penetration.

Sex swings, like the Spinning Sex Swing, help position the passive partner’s body and offer comfort and support while allowing for easy anal play and penetration by opening up the area so that it is more easily accessed. Sex swings offer a multitude of anal sex positions in one big toy, so you can spend less time and energy finding the right positions and more time and energy just having fun.